Friday, May 6, 2011

Oops I got hacked... no no raped.... no no no I got HAPED !

In conversation with a friend we jokingly talked about the situation arising out of the hacking news and the gobbledy gook dished out as an explanation by the hackee CEO. 

Having a drink later, I had an Eureka moment and conceived the theory of Haped. 

Haped, my friends, is a new cyber term for being hacked - the reason why it is "haped" is because the site (or organization) has been raped. 

Once haped, life is never the same. Your hidden fruit has been tasted and a million explanations will not bring back your innocence, your original configuration, your OEM feel, or your default settings... that virgin state. It's like the crack in a mirror which is always there when you are looking at yourself and you will keep telling the world how the hape did not disclose the holes . 

The Theory of Hape (abridged):  

       Every system or technology environment is built with known or unknown holes all over waiting  to be penetrated an exploited. 
       After a hape, weak controls and dirty data is exposed to the world and management has to run around trying to save their reputation, jobs and more. 
       Hape is inevitable if one thinks that having devices, AV and certifications means total security ! Anyone living in such a fool's paradise must be prepared with red faced excuses followed by ulcers, resignations and silly accusations aimed at all and sundry. 

Corollary 1: 
When buying security services with an L-1 mentality you are bound to get the feeling of The Emperor's New Clothes ('s_New_Clothes) - sooner or later you will be hapee (no pun intended).

Corollary 2
If haped, talk and walk straight. Jalebi (Gobbledy gook) stories drive away sympathy or help and bring ridicule. 

HAPE: a cyberworld term coined to mean a site or system that has been hacked. It is a combination of the words hacked and raped which (sort of) mean the same thing in their respective worlds. 

THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES: A story about an egoistic king believes he was wearing a robe that was invisible to the lower class whereas he wasn't wearing anything. 

MAJOR OR MINOR HAPE: Small incidents like a Website defacement, iframe attack, or a large scale incident like a DOS attack, data theft etc.

You got breached ... as bad as being forced into losing your V